Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole dating game. A few friends have decided that it’s time we get back into it. I must say that it takes the edge off knowing that a few of us are in the same situation at the same time. However, this entire idea of going back into the game, after 30 is a bit daunting, but also a bit exciting.
In your twenties, there’s that unspoken target where you want to be settled by 30, and having passed that, it almost feels like there is the opportunity of really slowing down now. It is almost like as you get older, you’re willing to take more time. The friendship bit has become as important as the flaming passion – especially if you’ve been in at least one relationship where the “flaming passion” caused a few broken plates and almost blew the roof off the house.
A workmate said that he’s become less picky as he got older. Other friends and I agree though that after the misdemeanors and disasters we went through in our twenties, we have become much pickier. For a self sufficient 30 something year old woman, a relationship is not about getting out of the family home (hopefully) or financial gain. By this time, you’ve either developed a relationship with family that works or you’ve just disowned them altogether. If you’re not making a truck load of money, then you’ve learned to live with what money you do make.
The questions remain as to how you do it. How do you fall in love again now after everything? Where do you get the courage to do it and believe that you won’t be picking yourself up off the floor again in a year or five or fifteen? Do you still have it in you to just walk into the flame as you did ten years ago with utter abandon? Does this other person, who has probably been through as much as you have, have it in him to do it with you? Can all the meditation and chakra healing work ensure that you are not just acting on your 2nd chakra? (After all, it has been a while)
Ah love, life – the beautifully complicated complications. If I’ve learned anything on my yoga mat in the past few years, it is this – enjoy the journey. Take it slow, sensuous. So take your time. Enjoy the early flirtations, hanging out, long conversations, getting to know each other. When it reaches the next level, enjoy being in a bubble that is just the two of you for a while before expanding the bubble to include friends and family. Just like you can’t start a pose mid-way, you can’t start a relationship where the last one left off. This is a whole new pose, a whole new vinyasa even, so ground down and don’t forget to breathe because this could be the vinyasa of your life.