Marriage? Maybe later

I just read an article about a woman’s thoughts on marriage: http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/life-style/family-entertainment/if-you-dont-covet-the-white-frock-why-get-married-20120723-22iza.html#utm_source=FD&utm_medium=lifeandstylepuff&utm_campaign=chrissiewedding, and it’s made me think about it a bit, and what happened when I went to a wedding last year.  Someone I know had said that she didn’t want to get married, and another person, couldn’t believe her. It was almost like there was something wrong with this person because marriage just wasn’t a priority to her.  It was viewed in an even stranger light as she had been with her partner for a few years now, and apart from the marriage papers, they were as good as.

A lot of people I know are like this.  A woman who doesn’t want to get married or have kids is looked at like she’s a mutant most of the time. The first of that sort of look might come from her mother, the second from some other older relative, and then from friends. And as a woman gets older, the pressure increases.  Looking back to my childhood, of course there were the fairy tales and that, but there wasn’t really much focus on finding prince charming.  At 16, when I was in high school, apart from my love for the guitarist Slash that still lives (I still wonder why I’ve never dated a musician), and random crushes, it wasn’t really much of a focus. By 18, I’d had a two week thing with a guy, and was still having random short lived crushes on random men.  At 21, I met a boy who was to become my fiancé, but when it looked like I was going to get married, I realized that I had other priorities.

At 32 now, most of my university friends are married with kids. Those of us who haven’t “bitten the dust,” have missed the first, second and third wave of weddings, and of course, there are the whispered, “what is wrong with her,” ”maybe she’s a lesbian,” and all that jazz. See the thing is marriage is just not a priority.  Like the writer of the article, I think weddings are great. I love weddings. I get super excited every time someone gets engaged, married or pregnant it’s just not a priority for me, personally. Why? Perhaps it was the priorities that were drummed into my head. Unlike finishing high school and getting into university, marriage was not something that was drummed into my head from a young age.  In fact, there was a lot of anti-marriage, anti-man sentiment going around. The sentiments didn’t rub off, as I love weddings and I love men.  So perhaps it’s just as simple as things being how they are.

At this point in time, I don’t particularly feel like I have to settle down, get married, or build a family. Not saying that I’m completely against it, but I don’t feel like I HAVE to. (Maybe after a master a jump-back from bakasana without going splat, do 108 sun salutes at Yoga Aid and read just five more books that are coming out this year).  And in this day and age, I know that I’m probably not the only one who feels this way.  Being single is no longer lonely, sad or means that you’re lacking in some way.  It just is. To be honest, I wonder sometimes if a lot of people are married, dating or having children because they feel that it’s “part of life,” or “expected,” or even, “the normal thing to do.”

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One thought on “Marriage? Maybe later

  1. I am not the law-binding marriage guy either, but i do understand why people look at me like a mutant. Picture your favorite movie or book, now picture some saying they didnt read it, and picture them saying it wouldn’t interests them. I know you feel like they are missing out on life’s pleasures; that’s exactly how married people (or people that want to get married) feel. When a person discovers greatest passion, they want their love one’s to experience that same passion. “I am a believer that our heartbeat should be used to make music with another’s beating heart” !!!! I encourage falling and that being commitment enough.

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