They say the only thing that’s constant is change, and whoever they might be, they are right. Nothing ever stays the same for longer than is necessary and even in the stillness things are moving, gathering, becoming what they should be.
I am supposed to be this person who facilitates change and yet, I still feel myself scared shitless when big things shift.
You think you’ve reached this destination, but then you realise that that is not the case at all, that there really is no ‘destination.’ It is but an illusion, an oasis where you may rest for a bit before things go on again. You’ve done all this fucking work, but life just doesn’t stand still. There’s still more work to be done.
Underneath it all of course, is fear.
You know that feeling. When your stomach does flips at the thought that things could be different. It’s not that this place here is better than what could be. It is just that through familiarity, it has become safe.
It’s like being in your bed when you have all the pillows arranged just so and your spot is perfectly set, comfortable, warm enough but not too warm, soft enough but not too soft. The thought of having to move the setting just seems a bit like too much work. Just a little bit unsettling.
What if you adjust but it doesn’t work out and you have to readjust?
But you’ll have to readjust anyway.
Summer moves into winter, and as it gets colder, you will move things around, thicker blankets, more pillows.
Then when it grows warm again, you adjust again.
It is just the way of the world.
Situations change as they must. Roles change. And scariest of all is the fact that relationships too evolve.
But why, why are these big changes so scary?
Why do we do this thing where we go back and forth?
Why delay the inevitable?
I suppose it is fear and not knowing.
Perfectly valid reasons.
But fear when mixed with a touch of desire turns to excitement, and knowing, well, what do we know anyway? We can only know things when we get there.
You only have three choices.
Try to run in the opposite direction.
Stay the same.
Or surrender and move forward to something that is petrifying but has the potential of being one of the best choices you’ve ever made.
Which will it be?
Some things are meant to happen anyway.
You might fight, deny, bury it under the excuses stemming from your past experiences, but this is here.
This is now.
We think so much about reasons not to… but what if this time, we focused instead of the reason to do it.
A flower will bloom when it should as it should, and trying to keep it as it is will only break the petals. When it is time too, the petals fall off, making room for another incarnation as it should.
The question now is:
Will you let the lotus bloom or will you break the petals by trying to keep it closed?