It’s been a while since I last wrote something for you. Two weeks of movement – dynamic energy, fire, flight. When the world moves quickly like that, it’s easy to lose track of where the heart is and what it needs. But as the world usually does, it allows time to land, a time to negotiate with the discomfort of slowing things down. The discomfort of not knowing what comes next once you have cast your intentions out to the ether.
Another full moon comes. Another phase of life ends. Perhaps it is just time, but no ending should go un-mourned, no part of life let go without being honoured. There was a certain emptiness before, but it was an emptiness that invited an exploration. It was, in essence, a space to allow the lotus to bloom into its full glory, to marvel at the majesty of a beauty that grew from the mud.
And now, the lotus has bloomed so it is time to move into a new realm.
There is a sense of unfamiliar familiarity with this realm. You’ve been here before, but not in the same way. I have been here too, but not with you. Yet, I have, you have, and we have – from lifetimes before, in different manifestations. I was the person who smiled at you as a child, only to then run away. You were the person I knew in my youth when I was lost, and you were as lost as I was. Yet, you were not, I was not, and we were not. Nothing has changed between then and now, and yet, everything has changed. We have changed. Many lifetimes have passed within this one incarnation.
Your heart, as it beats, is new to me, yet it is not.
My body and its movements are familiar to you, but it is still a strange new animal.
We have spoken of the same things before in different ways, with different people. Here we come, sharing that same past with each other, but with different eyes than we had before.
Maybe it is because we have grown.
Or maybe it is because we have still some growing to do, with each other this time.
Empires have crumbled so that new ones can rise. What different are we, the people who have had lives before this?
We have had lives where we have grown and crumbled, lives where we have each danced in the ecstasy of love and mourned within the despair of loss. In these lives we have known the highest high and the lowest low. In these lives we have known anger and loss, loneliness and desire. We have each learned our lessons of who we are up to this point and here we come together because something bigger than we are said that we should.
And now, what do we do?
You can run. I can hide. We can bury it all deep under the surface and never look at it. We can distance ourselves from this discomfort and nothing will change.
Or we can take a bit of silence to honour that journey which has brought us to this place.
And then perhaps it is time…
Time to believe in a bit of magic.
Time to have a bit of faith.
Time to find a bit of courage.
Time to just take a deep breath, and as gently as possible, soften, surrender…