Passion Play

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You have rekindled this fire inside me
And now I am burning, BURNING!So much so
That if I stepped into a stream,
The waters would carry this fire.
And all the oceans in the world
Would be set
ABLAZE!
With this mad passion.

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Yes

The third eclipse in this short span of time comes to us with the next full moon, and with it, is a time to say “goodbye,’ – a time to release, and perhaps even let a whole section of yourself die.  Most of us are uncomfortable with endings and a lot more of us don’t like talking about death.  It is the final end. The place where you can’t go back to what once was.  It is that place where your footprints get washed away by the sea and all that is left is to go forward, into the unknown.

There is comfort in the old, a familiarity, a certain safety, and to hold on is so much easier than to let go and step towards the future.  We might say that we don’t believe in these things, but sometimes, something greater just moves us in this direction.  Without ever intending to, we leave the past and head towards the future.  Something closes, something else opens.  Like my teacher Mel would say of a backbend, “it is like everything in the past pushing you forward from your heart.”  There is a beautiful sadness but also an excitement of what is to come.

It can be comforting having just that one string so that we can hold on to the past, but sometimes that string needs to be cut.  In that space where there was left the faintest of connections, there needs to be just emptiness.  The faint imprint left by a former lover is wiped away by the rain, allowing the glow of a new sun to spread it’s warmth on a clean foundation. Sometimes a lover becomes a friend, other times, even the friendship can’t be salvaged and the lover becomes a stranger.  A friend or even a stranger becomes a lover.

You think your heart died the last time it broke.

Going back into that space where you allow things to enter seems crazy.

But something stirs again – Perhaps the tiny flickering flame of affection, growing into desire and in the future, who knows?

You died once when your last life ended.

And you are reborn into this new life.

The heart beats.

It lives.

It wants to soar.

It wants to go into the unknown.

You’ve found your centre and don’t want to lose it, but your heart, the centre of it all is ready to bring you off your axis.

It is time. 

The final goodbye led to the first hello.  And the darkness makes the light seem so much brighter.  Something different, someone different, is scary.  It is the possibility of your universe being flipped upside down in a way that is beyond your control. It is two movements in one – allowing something unknown into this comfortable and familiar space that you have painstakingly built while you yourself move into an unknown dimension.  It is a doorway to another part of yourself, yet undiscovered.  How do you know that you will like this undiscovered self?  How do you know that you won’t?

Right now the questions are being asked and not answering is no longer an option.

Will you let go?

Will you let the past rest where it belongs?

Are you going to release fear and step over a threshold into a new life?

Can you allow a glance to become a lingering look?

When someone reaches out their hand to you will you take it?

Are you ready to immerse yourself into the unfamiliarity of the future?

A million questions, and the only answer that will make a difference is…

Yes

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Come Stand With Me In Warrior – Dear Divine Vira

Perhaps this could be something you share with your son someday…

What have you been taught of strength so far? Have you been told that it means to keep yourself protected and closed up, always ready to either fight or run? Have you been told that strength means to be serious and grim? Have you been told that to be strong, means to be hard? Have you been told that to be strong means to take and give nothing? Well, if you have, come stand with me in Warrior, and you will learn a different lesson.

Stand firm in your lunge, body stable, tail lengthening down, heart open. Stand with humility and compassion, a gentle smile playing on your lips, a twinkle in your eyes. Keep your eyes forward, gentle, gazing. Use the power in your belly to hold you firm and open your heart to the world. Yes, you stand here vulnerable, knowing that the elements can touch you. But how will you know your strength my love, if you keep your heart hidden and protected all the time.

Stay with me for a while, adjusting, moving, in order to stay here longer. Stand with love. A battle is only worth yourself if it involves your heart. Don’t fight battles for the ego, or for riches, for you my warrior, are better than that. You were put here to protect, honour and withstand, between heaven and earth, a beacon, a holy creation. Stand in your glory but bask not in your ego. Know your place as not God, but a ray of God’s heavenly love. Let not the ground root you for only part of you is of this earth. You, the true you, are a light of divinity. Honour that part.

Be not a warrior that gambles the things you own, or spends your nights in the company of drunks or whores. You are so much more than that. Feed your body with things that nurture. Feed your soul with things that make you whole – music, art, sport, love. Stand there, brilliant, honouring your roots, but always, always leave space for yourself to grow. Who you were born as, where you were born – they are all but a foundation, a place where you start to grow. And grow you will my love, dashing and dazzling to the world, or at least to me.

Root yourself down, deep enough to grow but not so deep you cannot move. You were made in perfect alignment. Listen to every part of you – body, heart, spirit and mind. Revere yourself by being here, in every moment, in every breath. Cheat yourself not of today by chasing the green pastures of tomorrow. Tomorrow will come for sure, but green pastures are sometimes merely a trick of the light. Let your forward gaze be just that, an open eyed gaze with intention. Let tomorrow come, but stand firm in today.

Stay when it gets uncomfortable. Be flexible enough to adjust, and I will adjust with you, but be strong enough to stand your ground. Do not back down. Hold your space in my life, my beloved. Take a breath. Maybe close your eyes for a while. Bring your hands to prayer. But stay.

Please be gentle my Vira, with yourself, and with me. When I tell you that I love you, accept with humility and compassion that you believe it. Sheath your sword, rest in your resolve, and open yourself to me. Use no force and be patient, for only then will my shy Goddess come forth. There are no doors to break down my love. Just open yourself to me in peace, with gentle strength and intention. And only then will you conquer my heart.

Stand firm. Be open. Be vulnerable. Soften. Be strong. Hold your space. Be my warrior.